Good Enough
by Cherazor
Summary: What if Usagi had answered Seiya's question in episode 194? Am I not good enough? [UM no Seiyabashing]


_ If there's one thing about the Stars season that I don't like – aside from the tragic lack of Mamoru – it's the fact that Seiya keeps running after Usagi, and she lets him. I can understand that she's naïve – I have the same problem myself; I wouldn't notice a guy hitting on me unless he used a mallet to smash my head in. But after the "Am I not good enough" -scene...how could she not know? I really think they should have let her answer the question. _

So, that's why I wrote this.

Now, I'm going to be honest with you all – I don't like Seiya. In fact, (s)he's one of the characters I like the least, **but,** if there's one thing I despise, it's people bashing, turning them evil and what-a-not, obviously good characters simply because they don't like them. Yes, I can understand if it works with your plot and all, but if you're simply doing it because you don't like the character in question...just avoid writing the character! So, that's why I've tried to write Seiya in a non-bashing and positive light, even though I don't like him.

Moving on... I hope you like it. I tried my best. :) Please enjoy, review while you're at it...and support me in **the Sailor Moon Fic Awards**!

-Cherry

* * *

**Good Enough**

* * *

A loud sob erupted from her throat. "I can't—" she cried, her body shivering uncontrollably – whether it was because of the rain or her pained whimpers she did not know. "I can't— I just can't stand being by myself! I want—" She fell to the ground, not caring how she scraped her knees or how her hands ached after the fall. 

"Odango..."

"I want to see you..." She sobbed brokenly. "I want to see you again, Mamo-chan..."

A pair of hands gripped her shoulders lightly and she looked up in surprise, her eyes filling with hope. Because, however irrational it was, she couldn't help but to think Mamo-chan would be the one standing in front of her, gazing at her with his soulful eyes. And yet...yet she knew it would be impossible.

Because Mamo-chan was on the other side of the world.

Instead, Seiya was kneeing in front of her, his eyes staring stubbornly into hers. "Am I not good enough?" he whispered suddenly, his voice no more than a growl.

Her eyes widened, betraying the confusion and surprise she felt.

He moved closer, still gripping her shoulders. "Am I not good enough?" he repeated softly.

Her mouth fell open. "What—? I don't—"

Seiya shook his head, smiling sadly. "You must have known, Odango. I didn't exactly keep it a secret. Even you must have—"

"No," she whispered, interrupting him suddenly. "No... But I think I understand now."

"I—"

She raised her hand, placing a finger over his lips, silencing him successfully. "Seiya..." She paused for a moment, smiling sadly at him. "I don't think you know what you're asking."

He frowned. "Odango?"

"Because...because, if you did know, you wouldn't ask me," she continued, her eyes filling with tears again. "You must understand – what you're asking me... You're assuming something impossible."

"Imposs—?"

Slowly, she reached for his hand, holding it gently in her own. "Mamo-chan and I have something I wouldn't trade for the world. I may not have heard anything from him in a while—"

"_A while_?!" he exploded. "You haven't heard a single thing from him since he left! You can't—"

Her grip on his hand tightened slightly. "I may not have heard anything from him in a while," she continued, her voice trembling, "but I trust him."

"You trust everyone."

She sighed, choking on a sob at the same time. "You don't understand – if there's no trust, there's no real love."

He jerked his hand a way violently, leaping up to his feet at the same time. "Trust is one thing, Odango, but it's been several months... And that's not all. From what I've heard from your friends, your boyfriend barely spent any time alone with you. They barely saw you kissing; you never went on any dates, and if you did, there was always some kid hanging around!"

She stood up slowly. "And that's what you don't understand – Mamo-chan has never been the one to show his emotions openly. He's been alone his whole life, his parents died when he was very young." She raised her head, her blue eyes burning with wisdom well beyond her years. "He's afraid of letting me out of his sight. I can feel it every time he touches me – he never wants to let go.

"He's scared, Seiya. He's scared of being alone. That's why he tries to suppress his feelings – because maybe, _maybe_, if he loves someone too much, that person will be taken away from him. And he wouldn't be able to handle that. Not again."

"But..."

"And...and even if you gave me the choice of a million men – a million men who were more loving and open...I'd still choose Mamo-chan, because he's the one who understands me the most." She gripped his hand again, squeezing it lightly. "My destiny is to love Mamo-chan, because our destiny is what our hearts want it to be. So when you ask me '_Am I not good enough?_' you're assuming something impossible – you're assuming that I could ever love another man the way I love Mamo-chan, and I can't."

"Odango..."

She smiled wearily, tears still trailing down her cheeks. "I could never really answer the question truthfully," she continued, her voice nothing more than a mere whisper. "For me to answer _yes_, I need to forget my love for Mamo-chan and I can't...but for me to answer _no_, I need to really consider it, and I can't. Not while I love Mamo-chan.

"You're asking the wrong question – It's not if you're good enough for me, but rather am I good enough for you?" She paused, taking a deep breath. "You deserve someone who can truly love you – someone who'll willingly give you their whole heart. I can't do that, because my heart is already given to someone else. And even if he did betray me...I'd never take it back, because I can never love someone the way I love him.

"So, in the end, I don't deserve you, because I could never give you what you truly deserve – a deep love only for you."

"Does he know how incredibly lucky he is?" Seiya choked out, his voice coming out as a low whisper.

She smiled, slowly letting go of his hand. "I wish you much love in your life, Seiya, and I'm sure you'll find someone. A love with a beautiful shine." She turned, slowly walking off, out into the rainy distance.

He sighed, his eyes following her as she slowly disappeared. "But nothing shines brighter than you, Odango..."


End file.
